Waiting, and waiting and waiting

The hardest part of anything is patience.  This has been the biggest skill I lack.  It also seems to be the biggest test I get.  One day I will get it right though! One day!

Right now it is a wait and see game.  During January, I developed a migraine.  It has not completely left since then.  I have lost track of the weeks since then.  Some days are good and some days are bad. I have had multiple tests, tried many different prescriptions and still no luck.  Then I found the lump. It wasn't hard to find, it is on the back of my head and hurts.  First they thought it was swollen lymph nodes and treated them. Then they thought it was an injury (I wouldn't know how I got injured there). So, they gave me medicine to try to decrease the swelling. It has been almost 5 weeks since we found the lump, it is still there and not going down at all. I got a second opinion, they recommended an MRI. My insurance didn't pay for MRI's.  I tried many other options to be able to pay for the MRI, we were not successful. During this time other symptoms started to show up and there is nothing we can do, til we get the MRI. I can't even get an appointment with a Neurologist, without an MRI.  We finally got paperwork and applied for medicaid. We were approved last Thursday.

Then comes some more waiting.  We have to wait for a pre authorization for the MRI and then the Neurologist.  I just found out yesterday that it takes at least 4 weeks (no exceptions). The last month was hard, I can only imagine the next few weeks.

I am trying hard not to research, think of the what if's or anything like that. It's been hard to get up some mornings. There was a similar scare in September. I had a tumor in my leg removed. It was down by my ankle and was the size of a peach. It was a rough time, but had all the signs and symptoms of cancer. It was not cancerous. But for about 2 months, we were led to believe there was a 50% chance of cancer. We were very lucky then. I hope I can look back in 6 months and laugh at myself for being so worried.

I have hope.